42.195? 26.2? Sure? Really?

In a few days, you will be on the starting line of your first marathon, or not (I mean not your first one), and you are not going to give up so close to the deadline, will you? …
It will be in Paris, Rotterdam, London or anywhere else …

Having experienced this 4 times, and given my extensive studies in sports science (note that I was always chosen last when selected in elementary school sport teams, see how much I am credible), I can give you some clues…

So how to know if you are about to start a marathon in a few days?

1. You have been pissing your family and friends off for months with that : they are polite, they respect your mental disorder, but calm down, they are really fed up… And when the race will be over, they will be less tolerant when you’ll tell them still 5 weeks later the incredible moment that you lived at the kilometer 24 , or 25 “I don’t remember, you know at some point everything gets a little confused” when you gave five to this so cute child (who did not give a fuck, know it, since you were the 2371th slimy with sweat, drool, snot and effort gel hand this poor kid was hitting).

2. You have made a list to make sure you won’t forget anything on D-Day. Don’t worry, you won’t. You’ve been thinking about it for weeks  (remember point 1). You will not forget anything except the answer to the question you are going to ask yourself at kilometer 29, or even before, like “but fuck it, why am I doing this shit ? Am I that stupid? ”.

3. You have not chosen your outfit yet. "Will it be cold at the start? or not so much? or hot? and afterwards will I get too hot? or I might be cold? Pfff, weather forecast is bullshit, they say anything, I can’t be sure of anything”. To make it short you spend your days thinking about clothes, and you tell everyone “holy shit, I do not know how to dress” (see point 1) … Be careful, you are not a fashion blogger… Yes, be careful, even if you are a hairy legged man…

4. You do not know what to eat. Or not. You read and hear everything and the opposite, you know it but you keep on. As soon as you put something into your mouth, you wonder. And when you are sure of your choice, and satisfied with what you have eaten, you do not forget to remind it to everyone around you (see point 1).

5. You’re not ready. You have to run. A little more. Just a last long run, just to be sure. You will lose all your fitness if you don’t. You think as much about the race to come as to the work-out you don’t do. “No, seriously, you can’t realize, I’m sure I don’t know how to run, or even breathe any more” (see point 1).

6. You can’t do anything anymore. “No, seriously, I can not get down the trash, imagine if I injure myself in the stairs, it would be so stupid, so many efforts  spoiled stupidly, I can not decently take that risk, you could understand it, damn, fuck! ”(see point 1)

7. You do not look at walls the way you used to. You had never noticed before, but in fact walls are very scary. And every time you hear Trump talk about it, you shiver from fear.

8. You don’t want to go. Especially if it’s not the first one…

9. You can’t wait any longer, you want it so much. Especially if it’s not the first one…

10. You have pasta in your cupboard. In your fridge, in your bag, in your room, in your drawer, in your car, in your bathroom, in your office, in your desk, in your mouth … You feel like living in a Barilla branch.

11. Uh … “but fuck it! what do I forget. I tell you, I’m sure I’m forgetting something, damn’it”… (see point 1)

To make it short, running a marathon is a real challenge…
Especially for your friends and family…
So do not forget to say THANK YOU …

Come on !! Good race to all !! Enjoy that moment !

PS1: Please share if you have at least one of these symptoms?
PS2: don’t forget our list to be sure not to forget anything for D-Day…