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Join de urbirun newsletterMarathon here, marathon there? This word is constantly running through many runners’ mind … Who’s guilty?
Well, it’s said that it’s Philipides’ fault…
That being the case, we shall say so straight away, no one is certain that Philipides ever existed, and it is likely that we struggle in training programs to finish the iconic 42.195km because of an old story, that we are not even sure it is true…
And when I say old story, believe me, it’s old…
It is as old as a Tuesday… (or even a Monday), late morning…
We are in year 490 BC, Philipides is Athenian and a little gloomy, because it’s been a few weeks that the war against the Persians and the king Darius the First pesters him.
Fortunately, the battle is coming to its end. With a few Athenian pals, Philipides still cuts one or two more Persian legs off, then runs to his boss, Miltiade a famous Athenian strategist and commander :
ouch… can you stop it, please? I don’t wanna get injured before the race…
– Coach, coach, that’s it, it’s good, we won … So, considering this, I have to go, I really need a coffee, I have had a busy morning…
Miltiade is happy, the Marathon battle is a triumph, the Persian army is out, and Philipides is heading for the pot of coffee.
– Hep hep hep! shouted Miltiade, come back here young Philipides. I have to send a text message to Athens to announce my brilliant victory, but I’ve just been told that I’m 2482 years in advance, and anyway I am short of battery … So I thought you could quickly go to Athens to tell them we won.
– What? To Athens? Are you kidding me ? It’s at least 42 kilometers or even 26 miles away…
– Yes, I know, that’s why you should hurry up …
– No, I can’t, I am not ready, I have not even eaten my pasta, nor do I have any effort gel. Pfff, and I warn you, I did not follow any training plan …
– Tsss tsss, take this message, and just go, ok? …
Philipides tries to sew the papyrus’ piece to his tunic not to lose it on the way, and obviously he has to start again 3 times in order to sew it more or less straight.
– Eh coach, how good is it? Can I quickly have a pee first?
– Yes, but go over there behind the bush. Look at the line for latrines, you’ll never start on time.
Sighing, Philipides tries desperately to pee, despite a pressing need. Too bad, he said, it’s time to go.
Miltiade claps his hands:
– Come on, let’s go Philipides. Go now, and do not stop on the way …
– Pfff, I’d like to see you do it… #easiertosaythantodo
ok let’s go, keep calm, easy, steady pace… and I’ll make it…
And Philipides starts running across the plains of Marathon. The plain becomes hills, and Philipides is quickly having hard times. He says bad words, and stuff like “fuckin 'but what had I in mind?” … “what a stupid idea” … “fuck, I can’t believe how stupid I am” … “luckily at least didn’t I pay for that ”… etc. etc.
He hydrated as best he can, drinking at every stream, as he has been advised, and but he suffers a lot.
when I think I wasn’t even drunk when I signed up…
After about thirty kilometers, the city of Athens is in sight. Exhausted, disoriented, he misses the gate of the city, and hits the wall which surrounds it, which seriously slows its pace down…
But he struggles, he fights, and he continues painfully to the palace where are gathered the magistrates of the city. He enters the inner court, and makes a V with his fingers hoping that the sculptor will have time to take it in marble, so that he has a souvenir.
He does not know how, but he still finds the strength to run to the magistrates who acclaim him when he passes the door and collapses in front of them.
“Nenikekamen!” he shouts (yes, he is Greek – “we are victorious”, for non-hellenists) …
-
So? What time? What time ? he keeps asking.
The magistrates stop applauding and look at each other, puzzled because no one has a watch, not even know what it is…
-
Yes I could not do better, I hit the wall, fuck it … still manages to blow Philipides.
Then he collapses. Drop dead.
Without even having time to bring his statue to Instagras, a famous messenger of that time.
so now can I get that finisher t-shirt please?
At this stage of the story, my scientific conscience requires me to specify that there are several versions of this story:
* According to Herodotus (we do not know his PB on half), Philipides ran from Sparta to Athens (250km, in 36h), which would make him the first ultratrailer in history
* According to Plutarch, it was a guy named Euclid who ran from Marathon to Athens
* According to a legend I could run a sub 3:30 on marathon …
Where is the truth? Nobody knows, except Philipides, who unfortunately did not took time to share his run on Strava.
So, for lack of better, it is likely that the race as told above is the closest to real history with a capital H and the Marathon with a capital M, like an inversed W, like Wall…
And anyway, one thing is certain: Philipides could have better enjoyed the scenery of his run if he had used urbirun …
For more about that history, or if any doubt about my version, ask wiki or your teacher…
And to enjoy the best of the scenery of your runs, exploring the world’s most beautiful cities, try our free downloadable and self-audioguided running-tours, and consider that no one of these requires you die in the end : /en/circuits