Running back ?

Running-back… or what about some cross-training, with american football, the week before the Superbowl…
So let’s give some clues about american football for non-americans… from a non-american point of view…

Concerned about your education, and as this weekend there is an event with a “running back” inside, and as this event makes 300 million Americans go crazy every year, without being a Trump executive order, let me introduce :  the Superbowl.

The Superbowl is the world american football championship final, a major event celebrating the glorious uncertainty of sport …

Aware of the importance of cross-training for runners, and guessing that you want to include a session of American Football in your weekly program, here are roughly the rules of american football, which are a little more obscure than those of running.

Come on, I can do it, 10 yards, sure I can.. let’s try…

First, American football is played with the hands as its name does not indicate it. (And if you wonder why it’s called football, stop immediately asking you questions, don’t try to understand, it’s American).

American football is played with grass underneath, an oval ball, and a helmet.

The goal of American football is not really original, because it is about winning the game so that you can pour a huge barrel of Gatorade over the head of your coach.

Ouch!! Fuck you Miller, it’s cold… fuck…

To win the game, there is a very simple, and common in sport, way : score more points than opponent.

How to score points? and that’s the point!

So if you want to score points, you have to run all across the pitch (100 yards) in 10-yard stages (a yard is a short meter, so we see that all what is  American is not necessarily bigger, and 100 yards it’s not really a marathon). And you have 3 tries to run at least a 10 yard distance. And it’s even numbered on the field, with arrows to make sure you run in the correct direction.

10 times 10 yards in 3 tries… Easy no?

Ok sounds easy… No, it’s not. Because you have to run through the opponent’s defense without getting caught by a dozen of helmeted monsters weighing several hundred pounds each, who are making a dam of flesh and reinforced plastic in front of you.

If you succeed, all your buddies will hit you on the helmet, then you can take your chance again for another 10 yards, and there is a commercial break.
If you fail, and if your remains are found, you will end up in the hospital where Dr. Shepard will declare your death in the elevator and after the commercials.

And then it is the slimmest guy of the other team that will, in turn, take his chance.

If by a miracle you manage to run and reach the endzone, the opposite end of the field, you score a point (in fact 6). At this moment, you will be so happy to have survived, that it is likely that you will wiggle your in shiny Lycra tights molded ass, and throw the ball between your legs (which is terribly dangerous when you know the facetious mood of an oval ball). But at that point you will be so free in your head, that you will not give a shit : you have a helmet, a tooth protector, and lots of other things that make you think you’re muscular.

Let’s booty shake, Babe… check this out !!

It’s okay, you got the rules? Cool, and congratulations for surviving.

So let’s move on to a more recreational aspect of the event.

At one point, it will be half-time: it’s a kind of long refueling, and you sit quietly for 20–25 minutes, instead of drooling on yourself while trying to drink while running, and wipping  your sticky with energy gel fingers on your t-shirt.

You should know that the Superbowl half-time is an event in itself, because so many people go to the toilet at the same moment that there are incredible problems of plumbing. Flushing is more frequent during the half-time of the Superbowl than at any other time of the year. But watch out, viewers do not go to the toilet during commercials, but rather during the songs, because many watch the Superbowl for commercials too… It’s exactly as if you were watching the Berlin marathon just pawing with impatience for the ads for an anti-blister cream at km14 …

Shut up now, let’s watch the commercials !

It is such an event that the best creative people twist their brain with cocaine all year long to imagine the commercial that will be more remembered than the name of the winner of the game. As a result, almost 50% of the ads include animals, because animals are so cuuuute. And almost 100% of commercial include beer. By the way, do you know that the week before the race, ooops the game, Americans spend nearly $20 million more than during an ordinary week in buying beers

Then, after the second half, it’s the end of the game.

The players of the team who managed to run the most times 100 yards will wear caps on which it is marked that they are champions (finishers hats in fact), in case the spectators are still talking about the commercials. Then they will screaming of joy 2cm to the cameras, while pointing their finger to their cap… so that someone finally tells them what this “LII” means. Yes, because it’s such an historical event,  than the Superbowls are numbered in Roman figures. This year, in 2018, it is the Superbowl LII (52 for those who read Arabic). It means that it’s an ancestral competition that has been lasting since 1967… Wow!!

Hey Mum, tell me what’s written there please…

So I hope you know better about american football. Now I have to go, I have a work-out session for my next XLII

PS: And to conclude, running-back (yes the super teaser title), it’s only an offensive player carrying the ball, nothing to do with running backwards or on someone’s back… sorry…

So, now, go for a run, and dont’ forget we have many free downloadable running-tours in USA : NYC (3 tours), Boston, Washington DC, Miami, Los Angeles, San Francisco (2 tours), and many more in Europe… and more to come…
Check-it out : https://urbirun.com/en/circuits

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